|Max told me to read a book instead.|
I got 2k in until I realized I had the wrong magic system. It was becoming a different story than what I wanted, though I LOVED the first pages. There was intrigue and tension with just enough background while moving the story forward. And because of that love of the first few pages, I've been stuck.
I just can't get that first scene out of my head, even though it's not the story I want to tell. I think. And that's where the doubt comes in. The questioning. Can I make it work? Can I tweak it so that it's what I want?
So I wrote a new opening scene. And after three or four tries, I came up with something I liked. But then the doubt set in again. This opening isn't as dark; do I want it to be darker? This character is slightly different; does she work with my planned ending?
So for the last few days I've been paralyzed to write anything further for fear it won't be right. But you know what? It's not going to be right on the first try. My drafts are very messy and that's fine. But I can't fix it until I've written it. And when I finish, if I realize it was wrong, then I can always write another draft.
I think with school starting in a few weeks, I'm nervous I won't have time to write, because last year I didn't. But this year will be my second year of teaching, and that means I need to do things for me and that's writing. So I just gotta force myself to write it, even if it's wrong, because then at least it can be fixed; you can't fix what's not on the page.